Back in 2009, I began this blog during a dire time in my life when I was battling a multi-front war against the demons of uterine cancer, hepatitis-C, non-alcoholic liver cirrhosis, epilepsy, unilateral sudden-hearing-loss (due to a stroke) and the devastating side-effects of 3 separate 12-15 month rounds of the now outdated, ineffective chemotherapy comprised of Pegalated Interferon-alpha2B and Ribavirin (both of which list suicide and homicide amongst their so-called “side-effects”!)which kept me flat on my back for multiple years, while also revealing a genetic-defect that lead to full-blown hereditary hemochromatosis, a condition that causes iron to build-up in one’s major organs and brain. In the years since, colon cancer, hepatic encephalopathy, and various other serious and not so serious physically challenges heaped onto the mix. Separately, I was also engaged for the 1st 10 years of this blog in an acrimonious, depressing legal battle to obtain my deceased Mother’s medical records in the hopes of finding clues to the root cause of my physical ailments before they could ultimately kill me (in 2003 my physicians gave me a prognosis of 5-10 years at most). SO, the thinking behind the start of “IconDoIt – The Art of Survival” was to give me a coping mechanism that would distract my mind, occupy my hands, give me something to smile about and allow me to be productive in a positive way that my physical limitations could manage.

At the start, I had no idea what the future held or how a simple blog could – and would – actually serve as the psychological means for me to hold onto my sanity and resolve through seemingly impossible challenges (which continued to expand throughout the years and well beyond my own physical concerns.) Through the blog, I made friends across the USA and indeed the world that deepened my understanding, compassion and gratefulness for the many blessings I’ve had andthe shared strength of faith, validation, and forgiveness. I developed skills I never knew I had the capacity for that evolved from creating tiny 128px x 128px icons to life-size designs on hundreds of products sold around the world through 8 online stores and broadened my interests, research, knowledge, writing skills that have lead to my being able to offer practical usefullness to others in ways that I never dreamed about.

As a result of my life expanding and contracting over the years as a consequence of not only my own progress but also due to major breakthroughs in treatment options, technology, the inevitable effects of aging, and life-altering family challenges (including the loss of my live-in Mother-in-Law to dementia, devastating loss of my long-distance father, the heart-breaking loss of my life-long best friend to suicide, the earth-shattering loss of my soul-mate husband of 44 years, and the on-going roller-coaster life with my adult son who remains my everything), my involvement in keeping up this Blog has dwindled down to basically nothing since 2012 except for numerous unpublished posts, held back perhaps due to false pride over being depressed and not wanting to inflict my not-so inspiring thoughts on my Readers. I realize now I was wrong to hold back, not only for the good it might have done me but also for the potential way I perhaps could have helped others by admitting I am only human after all, and not impervious to feeling the negative effects of injustice and the type of defeat that threatened tremors at the very core of my soul.

My preferred self-image of constant optimism and moral courage at all times, while an ideal I have always strove for, has not been as effortless as I had tried to convince myself and others. This reality caused me to question my continued worth, despite all my past accomplishments and new avenues, which I then used as an excuse to pull back on my direct interactions with others (an excuse made easier for me to accept due to the fact of my subsequent complete loss of all hearing, diminished vision, and increased mobility problems.) Yet knowing in my heart that none nor all of those challenges combined could justify feeling sorry for myself, I am finally trying to live up to a new resolve to get back to trying to live up to my potential for making a positive difference in this world by sharing my experiences, both good and bad, my thoughts, my talents, and looking for new ways to engage with others and hopefully inspire at least one other person out there (along with myself) to do more than we thought we could.

I appreciate your patience.