Sh!t Happens

Two days ago, I planned to write and publish a post yesterday on a different subject, but as the sentiment “Sh!t Happens”1 goes, life interferred yet once again and my plans got kaboshed by a series of aggravating semi-catastrophies that left me in an entirely different mood and thoughts on my mind. My detour began when:

  • I got in my car to go to Speech Therapy appointment and discovered that the electronic keypad portion to start my car had somehow broken off from emergency door key on my keychain and been lost. That meant my car could not be started or driven – not even hot-wired sinced there is no place to insert a key or pull out wires to cross.
  • Since it is not a matter of simply getting a new key made, I learned my car would have to be towed to the Subaru Dealer to get a new electronic transmitter programmed, I called my insurance company to start the process via their Road Assist provider to order a tow truck.
  • Next complication, my car was parked in a multi-story parking garage at my apartment that has a 7’2″ height limitation at the entry & exit gates, car was parked facing forward against a concrete wall, and could not be put into neutral gear because of missing transmitter. This meant a specific type of tow truck was required – one equipped with “skates” and NOT a flat-bed. Despite having given this heads-up to the dispatcher, it took almost 22 hours and 9 different tow-truck service providers to finally send the proper truck and a competent driver to finally show up and drop my car off at the Dealer.
  • I then learned that in order for them to make a new wireless transmitter for me, they had to entirely remove the “Keyless Access Control Unit” from the steering column, send it to the Subaru Factory to be zeroed out and returned to the Dealer for programming it specifically to my car: a process that will take 2 weeks for a total cost of just under $1700!! (forget all the various claims about replacing or re-programming electronic keyfobs by any other means than through a Subaru Dealer – they don’t work for any model newer than 2020 and are scams).
  • Because the loss of my original key/transmitter is not considered an insurance coverable expense, I am not only left to cover it out-of-pocket but also the cost of an interim rental car that will be around $650 for the period required.
  • Next complication, one can’t rent a car without a credit card (no one accepts cash) but as of just the day before this, I had to cancel not only my credit card but also my bank debit card because of my accounts having been hacked into by fraudsters and it takes up to 10 days to get new cards! AARRGH!
  • So what now? Both Uber and Lyft require a credit card to establish accounts. My son’s car is out of commission and also stuck at Dealer and he has no credit card or rental car. My sister-in-law doesn’t have a driver’s license. My closest friend who also is my home-care/health/transportation helper has been suddenly become unreachable since New Year’s Day (having her own personal and family emergency issues to deal with). I’ve already had to cancel 5 different medical appointments that had been scheduled for this week.

I am at my wits end. I don’t even have the emotional strength right now to properly rant about the violent idiocy that’s going on in our Country and the world. How pitiful is that? I am going to sign off now to pray to G-d that Little Orphan Annie was right: “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

  1. Sh!t Happens” another way of saying “Life Happens when you’re making plans“, “Man Plans, God Disrupts“, “Man Plans, God Laughs“, or many other variations of this saying. See history of these quotes. ↩︎

The Difference Between “You” and “I”

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In total darkness and bubbled water I sat, crying my eyes out uncontrollably, my chest heaving with hysterical cries. Rushing in like a madman to save his damsel in distress, my hubby got down on his knees, praying I hadn’t fallen, praying our baby hadn’t decided that would be the day he arrived. Still unable to calm down enough to speak, I nodded my head to show that my distress was not physical. After a minute or two in watchful silence, accompanied by a lot of head scratching, followed by his hand thrust into the water, Don looked at me even more perplexed. “I don’t get it. This water is pretty warm so it can’t be that.” He was of course referring to the day before, which was the first time he had to rush into the bathroom to rescue his delirious bride, mother of his soon-to-be son, whose eyes and decibel level appeared to be seriously trying to compete with Victoria Falls, for no reason other than the lack of hot water. This time, my anguish was over something far more solemn and deserving.

Sensing that our first (and only) child would be showing his face in a matter of days, I had finally permitted myself to look beyond my pregnancy and imagine all the possible kinds of fun we’d soon share with our child, when I was rudely interrupted by the ever so practical, pragmatic side of me that had to speak up and remind me that with fun also comes responsibility. (What a Party Popper!)

# # #

I was already well prepared for that without any serious trepidations, but what had managed to get me in such a panic was the sudden realization, Don and I bore the primary responsibility for teaching our child to SPEAK! and I had absolutely no clue how to do it. Okay. Breathe.

I tried to work it out in my head while lying in my (usually) calming bubble bath with Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” wafting in from a stereo in the adjacent room. I managed to come up with a plan for words like ”Cat”,”Dog”,”Apple“, and ”Daddy”. That was good. Then, I came up with similar solutions for a nice size rudimentary vocabulary that I figured would get him through his first year. Whew! That’s when the ground began to shake and give way and the dark clouds suddenly overcame me, when the terrifying thought entered my brain screaming out “How on earth are you going to teach your infant – a virtual alien to this planet born without any conception of words or their purpose – the difference between “You” and “I”?

That day, in the throes of the lunacy commonly shared by many women in the 48-72 hours before giving birth, this dilemma seemed not only rational but absolutely crucial to our child’s entire future. Perhaps I had seen Abbott & Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine one too many times or spent too many hours reading Sartre and Kierkegaard. As it turned out, my pregnant panic was all for nought. The truth is, I never had to consciously teach Robert how to distinguish between that particular pair of words or the meaning behind them, as one day, somewhere between the ages of 18 months and 2 years, Don and I realized that Rob was way ahead of us and had figured out this linguistic dilemma all on his own! Just like a million other toddlers before and after him, likewise accomplished.

# # #

The memory of that day, which was close to 30 years ago, popped into my consciousness last week-end while my oldest, dearest friend and I were enjoying the intellectual challenge of trying to apply various philosophical, scientific, psychological, and spiritual theories to the very concrete reality of each of our lives, trying to find the sense in what has no sense. While the specific facts and circumstances of my friend‘s life has little in common with mine – at least to the naked eye – we have shared the same frustration, hurt, and complete bewilderment over how can there be (and why?) people, chronologically adults, who somehow managed to miss out on that “Aha!” moment, when most toddlers learned that there IS a difference between “You” and “I”.

Subtle as the concept may be about where “You” end and another person begins, it just seems so fundamental to the ability to get beyond the proverbial sandbox, that I find it even more incomprehensible as to why it seems to be such an impossible hurdle for some folks to handle, despite the fact that for most other intents and purposes, they seem to have above-average intelligence and potential.

”When we feel our emotional boundaries, we can discriminate between our feelings & another’s feelings. We can hear another’s feelings & not have to fix them. We can discern what issues are ours & what issues belong to the other person. We can protect ourselves from being dumped on when someone else can’t handle his feelings. We can refuse to take responsibility when it rightly belongs to the other guy.” Boundaries – Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine

I simply don’t get it and so these remain questions I still have no answers for.

And that’s my rant for the day and utterly biased opinion. 🙂 What’s yours?

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a.k.a. “Rip Van Winkle”

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Geezus Frog! Is it 2011 already? I seem to have overslept a bit… 🙂

For those of you wondering where the heck I’ve been for the last month or so, or those who were worrying whether I had gotten too big for my britches and abandoned this blog in favor of fame and fortune in the world of commerce: I thank y’all for caring so much, for the many private e-mails, for your patience and forgiveness, and assure you that my feet are still squarely planted on the ground (or at least metaphorically as they are actually at a right angle to the ground and hiding beneath several layers of quilts and blankets).

As the subtitle of this blog declares, the theme here is “The Art of Survival”, and that is what I’ve been doing: Just trying to survive. If you’ve ever been pregnant or observed it from afar, there is an odd phenomenon where a few days before the babe makes his grand entrance, Mom2Be gets a splurge of energy and accomplishes incredible feats of creative and physical effort. It could be anything from chopping enough firewood to keep the kid warm through kindergarten, wallpapering the entire house as well as the neighbor’s, or stripping and finishing an ancient grand piano. Well, my body, for some weird reason, adopts that routine whenever I’m just about to suffer a relapse, and that’s just what happened this time after enjoying a flurry of creative activity from Sept.-Nov. I’m still having a hard time of it and really have no way to predict how often I’ll be able to post but I’m hoping to get back here at least once a week for as long as I can.

In any case, while I’ve been “away”, if I hadn’t known before, I was reminded once again of the riches I’ve been blessed with in friends. Janie, Mi’chele, Art & Enid, Steve & Sue, Barry & Sharon, and Michelle B. too, are each the jewels I shall always cherish. In goodtimes or bad, in silence or song, these are friends who linger long, whether close or far away. What I’ve done to deserve you I have no idea but pray I can live up to your example.

“But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

”There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.” Hillaire Belloc

”Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.“ C. S. Lewis

”If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.“ Unknown (fun link but I doubt this quote was his)

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” Euripides (408 B.C.)

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